Announcing Your Rainbow Pregnancy: If, Who, When, and How
Announcing that you are expecting can be a very personal decision, whether it is a rainbow pregnancy or not. And, spoiler alert, there is no right or wrong way to do it. Some people choose to wait until they are past certain pregnancy milestones, while others choose to share the news as soon as they find out.

The first time I got pregnant, I contemplated waiting until after we were through the first trimester. But my husband was too excited and didn't think he could hold it in that long.
He mentioned that if any complications came up, we would want the support of those we knew. So we threw caution to the wind and planned a cute way to tell our families.
My husband was right. For us, having the strong support structure that we do, it was ok that our families knew what we were going through when it all went bad. And even though it was good to have our families around us as we tried to put all the broken pieces of our lives back together, I still wasn't sure how I wanted to handle things this time around.

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After experiencing a previous loss, the idea of sharing your news might bring up feelings of fear, joy, and uncertainty all at once (just to name a few). Each situation is different and it is ok to handle this however feels right for you at the time.
Whether you're looking for the right time to share or need tips on breaking the news to loved ones, this guide aims to lighten your load and offer a sense of community.
You are not alone.
For thoughts on the other aspects of this journey, see my other post:
13 Top Tips for Navigating Your Rainbow Pregnancy.
Table of Contents
A Quick Disclaimer
Before we move on I want to state VERY CLEARLY that I am neither a Medical Health Care Provider nor a Mental Health Care Provider. Nothing I write here should be taken as medical advice. I am simply here to share my own experiences in the hope it will help someone feel less alone, and possibly avoid some of the mistakes I made along the way.
If you have any questions or concerns about your pregnancy or your emotional state, PLEASE seek help from a professional.
Some Emotional Considerations
Whether you decide to have small individual conversations or make a big announcement all at once, the experience can be overwhelming and emotional. Let's go through some of the feelings that might come up for you.
The Joy and Fear Dichotomy
Experiencing a rainbow pregnancy can be like walking a tightrope between happiness and anxiety. On one hand, the excitement of a new pregnancy can bring hope and dreams of the future. You might feel a renewed sense of possibility, imagining the joy of finally holding your baby in your arms.
On the other hand, the fear of another loss can cast a very long shadow. Every stage of pregnancy may come with its own set of worries, which can make it hard to fully embrace the joy.
You might find yourself questioning every little detail, from the results of a routine check-up to the meaning behind every twinge or ache.
Or you might be like I was and shut down, having trouble feeling much of anything, telling yourself how you “should” be feeling this way or “should” be feeling that way on repeat.

Balancing these emotions is not easy. But acknowledging both your joy and your fear without feeling guilty for having either emotion may help you work through things in time to bond with your pregnancy.
And giving yourself permission to feel each feel as it comes may help you avoid the denial that plagued me for most of my own rainbow pregnancy.
If you could use some extra support and guidance, I have created a first-trimester journal just for you:

Losing a baby is such a profoundly life-altering event. And the pregnancy that follows also comes with its own set of challenges. With weekly affirmations, thoughtful prompts, and space to explore connecting with your coming rainbow and your forever-loved angel, this journal provides support for the unique emotions and experiences that come with pregnancy after loss. Available in both printable and hyperlinked digital formats.
None of this intense emotional work needs to be done alone, though (if you've read any of my other posts, I can bet you know where I'm going with this). Read on for some thoughts on outside support.
Seeking Support

No one should have to go through this journey alone. Seeking emotional support can make a huge difference in how you cope with the mixed feelings of a rainbow pregnancy. Support can come from various sources:
- Loved ones: Sharing your feelings with close family and friends can provide a sense of comfort and understanding. Your loved ones can offer reassurance and help you process your emotions.
- Support groups: Joining a group of parents who have experienced similar losses can be incredibly healing. These groups can offer empathy and practical advice tailored to your specific experiences.
- Therapists or counselors: Speaking with a mental health professional can provide tools for managing anxiety and fear. They can help you develop coping strategies and support you throughout your pregnancy. For more guidance on counseling, see my post on When To Seek Therapy During A Rainbow Pregnancy.
- Online communities: Sometimes, connecting with others online who are going through the same experiences can be just as valuable as face-to-face support. Done right, online forums and social media groups can offer a sense of community and shared understanding (but if it does not feel like a safe and supportive space, please remove yourself).
The Thing About Rainbows has a private Facebook group:

Not all of the options above will be right for everyone. But creating a support structure around yourself can really help get you through this. Having someone (or someones) to lean on makes it easier to face each day with a bit more confidence and peace.
Deciding If You Want to Announce
A lot goes into the decision about IF you want to announce your pregnancy. But it all boils down to (yeah, you guessed it) what feels best to you.

Honestly, I recommend writing out a pros and cons list. It might seem silly to some, but thinking through what your personal pros and cons are might tell you some things about how you are feeling that you don't actually know about yourself yet.
Let's give it a try. Here are a few pros and cons to get your list started:
Some Pros of Announcing Your Rainbow Pregnancy
- Receiving support from family and friends: Sharing your news may provide you with some comfort and support. Being able to talk through your hopes and your fears with those you trust might help you work through some of what you are feeling.
- Celebrating the joy and hope of a new pregnancy: It's an opportunity to celebrate a new beginning. If you are having trouble finding your own joy under all of the other emotions warring for your attention, your loved ones may be able to help you find some of theirs.
- Raising awareness: For some, knowing that sharing your journey may help others understand the emotional complexity of pregnancy after loss will give you a sense of purpose and a chance to look outside your own situation. For others, it could be incredibly overwhelming and if that's true for you, I don't recommend it right now. During my pregnancy, I was not in a place to do this (or much of anything). Some people may never get to that place, and that's ok. We are all at different places in our journeys
Some Cons of Announcing Your Rainbow Pregnancy
- Anxiety and fear of another loss: I had trouble just saying it out loud. And the thought of having to untell if the unthinkable happened again was a big deterrent for me. In the end, though, I am lucky enough to have a good support structure and knew that I would want certain people to know about my situation no matter how it turned out.
- Unwanted advice or insensitive comments: Not everyone is going to understand where you are coming from. Some may want to celebrate when you're not ready. Others may dredge up a past you don't want to think about or only focus on what could go wrong.
- Pressure from public attention: Making your pregnancy public can make a deeply personal journey feel overly exposed, adding pressure you really don't need.

There is no right or wrong answer here. There are likely people in your life who want to know about your pregnancy. But in this matter, what they want is not as important as what is best for you and your pregnancy.
I couldn't do a big announcement, but there were still some people who needed to know. I told my partner, my mom, my 2 best friends, and my boss, and I let them handle the rest. My pregnancy was not a secret, but I didn't have it in me to see how everyone in my life would react.
It is 100% OK to decide you don't want to share your news (though, there are likely to be a few people who will notice after a while). And if you are still undecided, you don't have to do it today.
Give yourself some time to think about it, and then make a decision. The discussion below about the when, who, and how of announcing may help you choose.
And for a deeper dive on IF, see my related post:
Should I Announce My Rainbow Pregnancy?
Who to Tell About Your Rainbow Pregnancy
Even if you decide you do not want to announce your pregnancy, there are still a few people who are bound to notice the changes in your body eventually.

So, there may come a time when you'll need to have at least a few personal conversations about your news. If you would prefer to wait until they notice and ask you about it, that works.
However, if you have any concerns at all about how certain people's reactions might affect your emotional well-being, it may be better to control those situations as much as you can and tell them before they ask.
There are some options for notifying people that don't require you to be present if you don't want to be. More on the how below.
So let's go through a few different categories of people so you can think about who you may want or need to tell:
- Your partner: If your partner is in the picture, you'll likely want to start with them. Though, if you want to plan a cute way to tell them or you need to work through some feelings first, they may not always be first. See my other post, Telling Your Partner About Your Rainbow Pregnancy for more on this.
- Your therapist: You really should be in counseling and your therapist can help you prepare for the conversations you will be having with people.
- Your immediate family and close friends: Hopefully, these are people you know you can count on. If not, you don't need to tell them unless you need some of that aforementioned control.
- Your employer: The timing for this will vary by situation, but you will eventually need some time off, so your employer will need to be told. For some, if you have a supportive boss who is safe to share with, you may want them to know sooner rather than later. This will give you an opportunity to let them know what you might need during your pregnancy. If you do not feel good about sharing with your boss, don't (until it's necessary to secure your leave).
- The caveat here is for people who will need specific accommodations at work for pregnancy such as those who lift heavy objects all day or work with harmful chemicals. In this instance, you should inform your employer right away.
- See my related post, Announcing Your Rainbow Pregnancy At Work for deeper considerations around workplace disclosure.
- Everyone else: Not necessary. You certainly can if you want to, but if you want to keep the number of people who know small, that's ok, too
You don't owe anyone an announcement or an explanation about how you are feeling. If you are excited to spread the news far and wide, that is wonderful and you should do it. If you want to be more selective, that is also a good choice.
There are enough things to stress about during a rainbow pregnancy, let's try to minimize this one.
For a deeper dive on the WHO, see my related post:
Who Should I Tell About My Rainbow Pregnancy?
Considering When You (Might) Want to Announce
Now that we've considered the IF and the WHO, it's time to think about the WHEN. The when of announcing your rainbow pregnancy really comes down to what is going to be best for your emotional state (surprisies!).

The when may also be dependent on the who. You'll want to consider telling your partner about your pregnancy as soon as possible (assuming they are present and safe). You have a bit more time with everyone else.
Take whatever time you need to explore your own feelings (therapy with a trained Perinatal Specialist really helps with this, just saying) and make sure you and your partner are both ready for other people to know.
Here are some things to consider while deciding on when to announce:
- Trust your instincts: If you feel confident and eager to share your news earlier, that's perfectly okay. If the very idea fills you with dread or you get overwhelmed when you try to think about it and your mind changes the subject, you can take some time first. Each pregnancy journey is unique, and your instincts matter.
- Pregnancy milestones: Many expecting couples decide to wait until after certain pregnancy milestones such as the end of the first trimester or after the anatomy scan. If reaching one of these milestones before you announce will make you feel more comfortable and confident, go ahead and wait.
- Who you are telling: You do not need to tell everyone all at the same time, unless that feels good to you. If you want to take it slow, let people in one at a time, or based on the tier of people they fall into above.
- Times you may want to avoid: Avoiding high-stress times such as periods of stress at work or big holidays may help bring down some of the anxiety. However, if you want to make one big announcement, family gatherings for the holidays can make this easier.
The major takeaway here is that you have some time before your pregnancy becomes obvious. If waiting to announce would give you more confidence, wait. If you can't hold it in and just need people to know, tell them.
Do whatever feels right.
For a deeper look at WHEN you might want to announce, check out my related post:
When Should I Announce My Rainbow Pregnancy?
How to Announce Your Rainbow Baby Pregnancy
The HOW of announcing your rainbow pregnancy is really going to depend on the WHO.

There are just too many different ways to do this to name them all, but let's go through a few of your main options:
- Personal conversations: This is an option you will want to consider for your partner, anyone in your immediate family (including chosen family) you want to tell prior to a broader announcement, and anyone you know who might be triggered by your news (someone you know who has gone or is going through a similar struggle, someone struggling with infertility, etc.)
- Creative announcements: These can be used to open those small conversations or for announcing more broadly, both in-person and on social media. These can come in so many forms from small gifts to big signs and everything in between.
- Social Media or Mail: you can send out an announcement on social media, in the mail, or via email so you can notify people and tell them what you need from them before seeing them in person.
- 3rd party: Have a trusted loved one fill people in on your news ahead of you seeing them next so they can explain what you might need (not to bring it up, follow your lead, etc.) and get their initial reactions out without you present.

There is no limit to the number of different ways you can announce your pregnancy. You can do it the same way with everyone, or tailor each announcement however you like so you can use multiple creative methods.
There are a ton of ideas you can buy or use for inspiration on Etsy: Rainbow Baby Announcement Ideas.
Or here are some ideas on Pinterest.
The sky is the limit if you want to go out and have fun with it. Or you can keep it small and simple if you find this part of your pregnancy overwhelming.
For further considerations about HOW you might want to announce, see my related post: How to Announce Your Rainbow Pregnancy.
Navigating Reactions
Now that we've talked (at length) about your part in announcing your pregnancy, we should spend some time talking about those on the receiving end.
This announcement is a huge step, and naturally, you might worry about how people will react. The responses you get can be as varied as the people in your life.

Some might respond with overwhelming joy, while others might feel awkward or unsure of what to say. You may also get some who add their own anxiety about it to yours.
Doing some up-front work and preparing yourself for some of the reactions you might face will hopefully help you when it comes time to have these conversations.
Here are some tips to help you manage:
- Try to accept your own feelings first: No matter what you are feeling, joy, fear and anxiety, hope, grief, all of the above, or absolutely nothing, that's ok. You can try to work through these in counseling or with the loved ones you plan to tell. But labeling some of these feelings ahead of time will help you better communicate them and your needs during your announcement(s).
- Set Boundaries: It's okay to set limits on how much you want to share. If you encounter negative or overwhelming responses, politely steer the conversation to a more comfortable topic or let the person know that you need time to process.
- Communicate Your Needs: Let your loved ones know what kind of support you need. Whether it’s simply listening, celebrating quietly, or giving you space, clear communication will help them support you better.
- Focus on Positivity: Try to surround yourself with supportive and understanding people. Lean on those who can offer a balanced perspective and genuine empathy. It is possible some of their hope and positivity will rub off on you.

Feeling unprepared to cope with other people's reactions (and a very real struggle to believe it was all real) played a big part in my reluctance to tell people. I didn't feel ready to see their joy, their fear, their anything.
So for me, having some trusted loved ones spread the word was the way to go. For some, getting to have that big announcement experience or those small meaningful conversations is something they've been waiting for and will end up being such an important part of their emotional journey.
Go with what you think will bring you the most peace.
Your Pregnancy, Your Pace
There are so many layers of emotion to consider when deciding if you want to announce your pregnancy, who you might want to tell, when you might want (or need) to tell them, and how it should be done.

But this pregnancy journey is uniquely yours. You made it here again and your comfort and joy come first.
Whether you share your news early, wait until after certain milestones, choose to keep it private for a longer period, shout it from the rooftops, or have quiet conversations, your decision should be guided by what makes you feel the most comfortable and secure.
This is a big step, a big decision, and it is ok to sit with it for a while.
Before you go, I want to reiterate VERY CLEARLY that I am neither a Medical Health Care Provider nor a Mental Health Care Provider. Nothing I have written here should be taken as medical advice. PLEASE seek help from a professional if you have any questions or concerns about your pregnancy or your emotional state.
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