Should I Announce My Rainbow Pregnancy?

I want to start by saying, let's get rid of the shoulds in this scenario (and many others). There are far too many shoulds in our lives, especially for mothers. Let's not add this one to the list.
Deciding whether to announce your rainbow baby pregnancy is a deeply personal choice. It's a decision wrapped in layers of emotions, fears, and hopes. You might feel overwhelmed by the thought of sharing your news and the reactions it might spark.
The emotional weight you are carrying is enough to worry about without feeling like you have to take on the feelings of anyone you decide to share with. So, let's explore some of the things you'll want to consider first.
But before we move on I want to state VERY CLEARLY that I am neither a Medical Health Care Provider nor a Mental Health Care Provider. Nothing I write here should be taken as medical advice. I am simply here to share my own experiences in the hope it will help someone feel less alone, and possibly avoid some of the mistakes I made along the way.
If you have any questions or concerns about your pregnancy or your emotional state, PLEASE seek help from a professional.
Table of Contents
Personal Readiness

Assessing your own emotional readiness before making any decisions can help you proceed with the appropriate amount of caution. Ask yourself whether you feel prepared to share the news, knowing that reactions might range from overwhelming joy to deep sympathy and maybe even some of their own anxiety:
- Check in with your feelings: Are you feeling more excited or anxious? It’s okay to be a mix of both. Are you feeling anything at all? I was incredibly numb, and that is ok too (But I recommend therapy ((surprise!)) no matter how you are feeling. For some tips on seeking counseling, see my related post: When to Seek Therapy During A Rainbow Pregnancy).
- Reflect on your past experiences: Did you announce last time? Did it bring you more pain than it was worth? Or was it good to have people around you in your grief?
- Consider your coping mechanisms: How well do you think you'll handle unsolicited advice or questions? What about someone doing a happy dance? Or someone reminding you about all the things you should worry about?
Weighing your emotional state can help you determine if now is the right time for you or if you might need to work through some things first (cough, cough, therapy really helps with this!). Or it may help you determine that you do not wish to announce your pregnancy at all.

There may come a time when you need to tell certain people because they see you all the time and will notice your bump or who you work for since you will need to arrange some time off (see my related post: Announcing Your Rainbow Pregnancy at Work for more on this).
But you don't need to tell anyone else if you don't want to. And you don't need to tell anyone right now. You have some time to prepare for the announcements you can't avoid. See my related post: Announcing Your Rainbow Pregnancy: If, Who, When, and How for more help with this.
Your Partner's Readiness
Your partner's feelings are also an important factor in this decision. See my other post on Telling Your Partner About Your Rainbow Pregnancy if you need some help breaking the news to them.

Ensure they are comfortable and prepared to support you through the announcement process. Consider these points to evaluate their readiness:
- Check in with their feelings: Have you and your partner discussed with one another how you are each feeling? It would be good for both of you to talk through all of the points under personal readiness above.
- Move forward as a team: Are they on the same page regarding how and when to share the news with loved ones?
Open and honest communication with your partner will help both of you feel more secure and unified in your decision.

Are you and your partner feeling overwhelmed as you prepare for your Rainbow Baby?
Our free Together Through the Rainbow Guide offers a roadmap for couples, helping you navigate the unique emotional challenges and practical preparations that come with rainbow pregnancy. Learn how to support each other through this journey and feel more prepared and connected as you plan for your baby’s arrival.
Get your free toolkit now and find your footing together as a team.
Potential Risks and Fears

No one is more attuned to the potential risks of pregnancy, or the fear that comes with them than someone who has suffered a previous loss. But some potential risks of announcing you may be worrying about include:
- Fear of More Loss: After experiencing a previous pregnancy loss, there's a heightened fear of another loss. Announcing a pregnancy can feel like tempting fate or inviting disappointment if things don’t go as planned.
- Emotional Vulnerability: Sharing the news makes your emotions more public. If complications arise, dealing with them becomes more complex with others involved. Some of this vulnerability can be mitigated by being choosy about who you tell. For more on that, see my related post: Who Should I Tell About My Rainbow Pregnancy?
- Judgment and Insensitivity: Concerns about receiving insensitive comments or judgment from others, who may not understand the nuances of pregnancy loss or anything that comes after.
- Reliving Trauma: The announcement may bring up past trauma and emotions, taking you back to places you thought you'd left behind.
- Pressure and Expectations: Announcing a pregnancy can create pressure to provide updates and manage others' expectations, which can be overwhelming.
While the list above outlines some very undesirable things that could happen if you announce, there is nothing to say that they will certainly come to pass. The purpose of the list above is to help you prepare for some of these possibilities, not dissuade you from making an announcement should you want to.
A lot of what is on this list are things you'll need to work through unless you are in a deep state of denial like I was. Then you'll need to start with your denial and work your way to the rest.
I highly recommend working through them with a good therapist, whether you decide to announce your pregnancy or not. All of this is scary, but facing it sooner rather than later will give you the best chance at bonding with your pregnancy and preparing for your rainbow baby.
Your Path Forward

Choosing whether to announce your rainbow pregnancy is deeply personal and should reflect what feels right for you. Trust your instincts, consider your emotional readiness, and remember the importance of support.
While anxiety is natural, facing it with a plan can ease your mind. Take the time you need, there's no rush (unless you want there to be). This is your path, and it's okay to follow it at your own pace.
Whether you decide to share your news or not announce it at all, the decision should bring you peace (or at least more peace than anxiety). In case you need to hear it again, you are allowed to prioritize your peace and happiness.
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