How to Get Professional Support for Your Rainbow Pregnancy

Some true statements from yours truly:

• Rainbow pregnancy is challenging. Super true.
• Professional support can really help. Also very true.

But just because professional support might be really helpful, doesn’t mean going out and finding it is easy.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of seeking professional support, you’re not alone. It feels hard because it is hard.

This might be a good time to lean on someone you trust – whether that’s your partner, a close friend, or family member – to help you with the practical aspects of finding support.

They could help research providers, make initial calls, or simply sit with you while you explore options.

Understanding the Benefits of Professional Support

The search for the right support can be overwhelming but having someone specifically trained to help you navigate this complex journey can have a normalizing effect that is absolutely game-changing.

Looking back now, I can see just how normal my reactions to everything were. But while I was in the middle of it, I spent a lot of time berating myself for how I “should” be feeling.

I found myself struggling to process my emotions even with my amazing support system. There were some things I couldn’t quite put into words with family and friends, fears I didn’t want to burden them with, and complex feelings I was trying to understand myself.

If you’re finding it difficult to connect with or explain your feelings about this pregnancy, you’re not alone. My related post on
Understanding Emotional Disconnect in Rainbow Pregnancy
explores why these protective responses are so common and how to honor them while seeking support.

The most valuable thing professional support offers is space where you don’t have to manage anyone else’s feelings about your pregnancy or your loss(es). Where you can be completely honest about your fears without worrying about how they’ll land.

When Professional Support Might Help:

• When you need space to process without managing others’ emotions
• If you’re feeling isolated in your experience
• When you want support but aren’t ready to share with people close to you
• If you’re struggling to handle the emotional weight alone
• When you need help developing coping strategies
• If you could use some help finding the rest of your village
• When your emotions feel too big to understand on your own
• If you’re worried about burdening your personal support system

Finding professional support can feel daunting – making that first call or sending that first email might bring up fears about what it means to need help. But this journey is complex and you deserve all the support available to you.

Professional support can work alongside your personal support system, each offering different kinds of help. Whether you choose to explore it now or keep it in mind for later, knowing it’s available is part of building a complete support network that serves your needs.

For more insights into how professional mental health support can make a difference during pregnancy and postpartum, visit the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) website. Their resources provide valuable guidance on understanding and addressing mental health needs during this transformative time.

Types of Support Available

My midwives were great at offering me resources. They would email whole lists of options for me to go through.

But while I felt a hyperfocused need to make sure my rainbow was medically looked after, I really struggled to go beyond that to get care for myself.

I was overwhelmed and each type of provider seemed to offer something slightly different. I wasn’t sure what I actually needed.

Let me share what I’ve since learned about the different kinds of support available, so you can better understand what might feel right for you.

Mental Health Professionals

These providers offer specialized emotional support that can be invaluable during pregnancy after loss:

Perinatal Mental Health Specialists

• Understand the unique challenges of pregnancy after loss (and pregnancy and postpartum, etc.)
• Trained in trauma-informed care for reproductive experiences
• Can help navigate the complex emotions of rainbow pregnancy
• Familiar with pregnancy-specific anxiety and concerns

Grief Counselors

• Experienced in supporting through complex grief
• Understand how loss affects subsequent pregnancies
• Help process emotions without pressure to “move on”
• Create space for honoring both grief and hope

Trauma-Informed Therapists

• Skilled in working with trauma and some specialize in pregnancy and birth trauma
• Help develop coping strategies for triggers
• Understand how previous loss affects current experiences
• Support building trust in your body and the process

In the work I have done since my loss to become well-trained enough to properly support the Pregnancy After Loss community, I have learned just how valuable specialized training in the perinatal period truly is.

Perinatal specialists understand both the practical and emotional aspects of pregnancy after loss. Finding someone who creates space for all your feelings without trying to push you toward where they think you “should” be is one of the best things you can do for yourself on this journey.

If you’re looking for specialized support, Postpartum Support International (PSI) offers a directory of trained perinatal mental health professionals, as well as resources for navigating the unique challenges of pregnancy and postpartum.

Pregnancy Support Specialists

Sometimes we need support that bridges emotional and practical needs. These specialists can offer unique combinations of care that honor both the physical and emotional aspects of rainbow pregnancy:

Loss-Informed Midwives

• Combine medical care with emotional support
• Understand how previous loss affects current care needs
• Create space for both medical and emotional concerns
• Provide trauma-informed pregnancy and birth care

Rainbow Pregnancy Doulas

• Provide both emotional and practical pregnancy support
• Understand the unique needs of pregnancy after loss
• Help advocate during medical appointments
• Offer evidence-based information with emotional sensitivity

Perinatal Social Workers

• Help navigate healthcare and support systems
• Connect you with community resources
• Provide practical and emotional support
• Understand the healthcare system’s complexities

Having someone (like the amazing team of midwives I had) who understands both the medical and emotional aspects of rainbow pregnancy can be particularly valuable.

They get why certain appointments might feel triggering, why standard reassurances might not feel reassuring, and why some of us need different approaches to typical pregnancy care.

For more guidance on finding care that honors both your physical and emotional needs, see Choosing the Right Healthcare Provider for Your Rainbow Pregnancy.

Support Groups

While individual support is incredibly valuable, there’s something powerful about connecting with others who truly understand this journey. Support groups offer unique opportunities for shared understanding:

Professionally Facilitated Groups

• Led by trained mental health professionals
• Combine peer support with professional guidance
• Offer structured space for sharing and learning
• Provide tools for navigating common challenges

Hospital-Based Programs

• Often connected directly to your care system
• Combine medical and emotional support
• May offer both group and individual options
• Frequently include pregnancy after loss specific groups

Online Communities

• Accessible from anywhere
• Available whenever you need support
• Option to engage at your own comfort level
• Connect with others who truly understand

If this seems like an option you might like to explore, consider joining our private Facebook group for rainbow parents-to-be. We’ve created a safe space where you can share your challenges, ask questions, and find support from others who get it.

Sometimes just knowing we’re not alone in our complex feelings – whether we’re feeling everything deeply or struggling to feel anything at all – can help us feel less isolated in our experience.

Whether you choose to explore support groups or prefer more individual approaches to support, what matters is finding what feels safe and helpful for your unique journey. There’s no single “right” way to seek support during pregnancy after loss.

Finding the Right Fit

Looking for a professional support person during pregnancy after loss can feel particularly vulnerable.

You’re not just seeking someone with the right credentials – you’re looking for someone who can hold space for both your grief and your hope, someone who understands the complex dance between protecting your heart and preparing for this baby.

I wish I had started looking for additional professional support sooner in my rainbow pregnancy (I was truly lucky to find excellent support with my midwives but should have heeded their advice about additional support earlier). But at the time, just acknowledging I needed help felt overwhelming.

If you’re feeling something similar, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about how to find someone who feels safe enough to let into this tender space.

If you’re looking for additional ways to process your journey alongside professional support, our Two Pink Lines journal provides a private space for exploring your feelings at your own pace.

What to Look for in Providers

Perhaps you’re wondering if anyone could really understand where you are right now. The answer is complicated. All of our experiences are different, nuanced.

But there are providers out there who have helped moms through stories similar to yours. Similar enough that they will understand your feelings and have the training to help you with them.

Many (but not all) perinatal professionals specialize in supporting families through pregnancy after loss. They understand this complex territory of navigating previous trauma while trying to engage with current care. They get why simple questions like “is this your first?” can feel impossible to answer.

Learning that the midwife team I had chosen for my prenatal care had worked with rainbow parents before felt like exhaling after holding my breath for so long. Finally, here was someone who:

• Didn’t need me to explain why certain appointments felt triggering
• Understood why I couldn’t write my due date on the calendar
• Got why I was simultaneously desperate for connection and terrified of it
• Created space for both my grief and my hope

So when you are looking for a provider, look beyond basic qualifications. Consider looking for someone who:

• Has specific experience with pregnancy after loss
• Shows understanding of trauma responses without judgment
• Makes space for all your feelings without pushing toward “positivity”
• Respects your need to protect yourself emotionally
• Validates your experience without minimizing your concerns

Questions to Consider Asking

When you’re ready to reach out, these questions might help you gauge if someone could be a good fit:

• “What experience do you have working with pregnancy after loss?”
• “How do you approach working with trauma responses during pregnancy?”
• “What’s your perspective on the relationship between grief and hope?”
• “How do you handle emergency support between sessions?”
• “What’s your approach to combining practical tools with emotional support?”

Red Flags to Watch For

Just as important as knowing what to look for is recognizing when someone might not be the right fit. Some signs that might suggest looking elsewhere:

• Pushing you to “move on” from your loss
• Dismissing or minimizing your anxiety
• Making assumptions about how you “should” feel
• Showing discomfort with your complex emotions
• Rigid approaches that don’t honor your unique needs

Building Initial Trust

Trust after loss can feel particularly fragile. It’s okay to:

• Take things slowly
• Have trial sessions before committing
• Ask questions about their approach
• Trust your gut about whether it feels right
• Keep looking until you find the right fit

You’re not just finding a provider – you’re finding someone who can walk alongside you through this complex journey. It’s okay to be selective about who you let into this space.

I have a free resource that helps with finding the right healthcare provider for you. It will work for finding other types of providers as well. Check it out below:

Combining Professional and Personal Support

Finding professional help during pregnancy after loss doesn’t mean replacing your personal support system. It’s another layer of support that serves different needs.

As I’ve said, I really struggled when it came to processing my emotions even with my amazing support system.

There were fears and complex feelings that my wonderful midwives, and later my therapist, understood without needing me to fully understand them myself.

Creating Balanced Support

Professional support can work alongside your personal support in unique ways:

• Work through complex emotions in therapy sessions
• Share daily experiences with close friends or family
• Use professional guidance to help communicate needs to loved ones
• Let different types of support serve different purposes

Finding this balance took me some time, and honestly, some trial and error.

I had to learn that it was okay to need different things from different people – that sharing certain fears with my therapist didn’t diminish the value of my mom’s support, and that letting some people help with practical tasks while keeping emotional processing for professional spaces wasn’t a rejection of anyone’s care.

And if all of this seems overwhelming, you don’t need to do it alone. Your support structure can build itself if you start it with the right person.

For guidance on finding that first special support person, see my related post on
Finding Your Initial Support Person for Rainbow Pregnancy.

Financial Considerations

The financial aspect of seeking professional support can feel overwhelming, especially when pregnancy already brings its own expenses. But understanding your options can help make professional support more accessible than it might initially seem.

When it comes to making professional support accessible, having someone help you navigate the options can make a big difference. I remember feeling intimidated by insurance terms and provider directories, but breaking it down into smaller steps helped make it feel more manageable.

If you have someone you trust – whether that initial support person we talked about earlier or someone else in your circle – this might be a good place to ask for help. They could:

• Help you understand your insurance coverage
• Research provider options in your area
• Make initial calls about sliding scale options
• Look into community resources

In case I haven’t made it clear, my midwife team was truly amazing. They sent me long lists of options that included how they might work with my insurance. So if you find the right one, your healthcare provider could be a major part of your support system.

As you think about investing in professional support, you might find it helpful to review
Essential vs Optional: A Framework for Rainbow Pregnancy Preparation.
Sometimes understanding which preparations truly matter can help us prioritize where to focus our resources.

Insurance Navigation

Many insurance plans offer mental health coverage, though navigating the specifics can feel confusing:

• Check your plan’s mental health benefits
• Ask about pregnancy-specific coverage
• Understand deductibles and copays
• Look for in-network providers

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by insurance details, consider asking your HR department, insurance provider, or a trusted support person to help you understand your coverage.

And as I said, your healthcare provider may be able to give you referrals based on what your insurance will cover. Ask them if they can help you.

Alternative Options

When traditional therapy feels out of reach, there are often other paths to professional support:

• Sliding scale therapy practices
• Training clinics with reduced rates
• Online therapy platforms
• Community health centers
• Group therapy options

Many providers and organizations are willing to work with you to make support accessible. It’s okay to ask about payment options or reduced rates.

Getting Started

Whatever your journey with professional support looks like – whether you’re ready to reach out now or just gathering information for the future – exploring your options is already a form of caring for yourself and your baby.

There’s no timeline for when you “should” seek support, and there’s no single right way to build your support system.

This post is not meant to add pressure or new tasks to your plate. This is a lot. But there could be some real benefits for you in the long run if you are able to tap into some of these resources.

Taking that first step can feel enormous. Whether you’re feeling ready to reach out now or just starting to consider it, here are some gentle ways to begin:

First Steps

• Browse provider websites to get a feel for their approach
• Save contact information for future reference
• Write down questions you might want to ask
• Ask your healthcare provider for recommendations
• Take time to explore different options

And again, a lot of these are things a support person or healthcare provider can help you with. Getting started doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out and it doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.

Sometimes just knowing what options are available can help us feel more grounded as we navigate this complex journey.

Whatever path you choose with professional support, building a network that truly understands pregnancy after loss can take time. My related post on
When Rainbow Pregnancy Support Isn’t Supportive
offers guidance for navigating challenges that might arise along the way.

Before you go, I want to reiterate VERY CLEARLY that I am neither a Medical Health Care Provider nor a Mental Health Care Provider. Nothing I have written here should be taken as medical advice. PLEASE seek help from a professional if you have any questions or concerns about your pregnancy or your emotional state.