Choosing the Right Healthcare Provider for Your Rainbow Pregnancy

Navigating a rainbow pregnancy brings so many emotional challenges, and one of the most significant decisions you’ll face is choosing a healthcare provider who understands and supports your needs.

The right provider can help you feel seen, respected, and cared for, but deciding on that provider can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re already overwhelmed with the many emotions and all-consuming fear that come with pregnancy after loss.

This is an area where I got lucky. I knew there was absolutely no way I wanted to go back to the care setting I was in when I lost my first pregnancy but that left me with more questions than answers.

The idea of researching all of the other hospitals in the area and possibly needing to drive further than I wanted to go to the best one was daunting.

But I had recently noticed there was a naturopathic birth center not far from my house.

My first experience was in a big hospital setting and there is a long list of reasons why I didn't want to go back there that I will discuss in more detail below. A naturopathic birth center seemed like it would be a far different experience, and that's what I was looking for.

For those of you who are not as lucky as I was to randomly drive by and notice a birth center near your house shortly before becoming pregnant again, I want to break down the many considerations that might go into your decision about a healthcare provider.

So, this post explores different types of healthcare providers, care settings, and emotional considerations to keep in mind. Whether you’re considering midwives, OB-GYNs, or family practitioners, or deciding between a hospital, birthing center, or home birth, this post is here to help you make informed decisions based on your personal needs and preferences.

For those looking to go deeper, you can also download my Provider Compatibility Guide for further help with what to consider as you evaluate your options:

Understanding Your Options

For my first pregnancy, I knew very little about the options available to pregnant women. I still live near where I grew up, and I loved the idea of having my baby where I was born.

So without shopping around at all, I blindly signed on for care in that hospital.

I still wonder how my experience might have differed in an alternate care setting. Everything was so cold and clinical.

I felt like a number, just one more patient being pushed through the system. A system that seemed prepared to handle my physical health, but was incredibly ill-prepared to care for my emotional wellbeing.

Now, I disliked my first hospital experience and much preferred the naturopathic birth center run by midwives with my rainbow pregnancy. But that is not to say that all birth centers are better than all hospitals.

I will not be trying to sway you in one direction or the other in this post. All of our experiences and preferences are different and you should go with the option that brings you the most peace.

I ended up needing hospital care for my birth experience with my rainbow, and they were wonderful (it was a different hospital).

Knowing your options can help you identify what feels most supportive and aligned with what you are hoping your pregnancy and birthing experience will look like.

Your choice of provider can significantly impact your experience.

But before we go through some of your options for care, we should first consider if you are happy to go back to where you received care for your previous pregnancy or if you would like to try something new.

Returning to a Previous Provider or Starting Fresh

For some of you, this may be a tough decision. For others, you will have instinctual and intense feelings about going one way or the other.

Returning to a familiar provider may offer a sense of continuity and comfort. If you were happy with your care and don't want to fix what isn't broken, that is absolutely fine.

Or if returning to your previous provider may bring up painful memories, starting fresh may feel empowering, giving you the opportunity to form new connections that align with where you are now.

Both options are valid, and ultimately, it’s about choosing what feels right for you. There is so much uncertainty in rainbow pregnancy, you don't need to add on feeling uncertain about the quality of your care.

I want to acknowledge that not everyone lives in an area that provides a lot of options or has the insurance coverage to choose freely among them.

If you find yourself with fewer options, know that even small steps can help make this experience feel more supportive. If you’re unable to change providers, you might focus on finding ways to communicate your needs clearly, letting your provider know your history and preferences upfront.

Sometimes, simply sharing your story or concerns with a trusted support person can bring relief and make it easier to advocate for yourself in moments when things feel challenging.

If there’s a support group in your area or even online, connecting with others in a similar situation can sometimes offer guidance or ideas on how to navigate a limited range of options.

And remember, even if you don’t have the freedom to choose a new provider, you still deserve understanding and compassionate care.

It's also ok to “shop around.” If you have options in your area, there is no rule stating you have to stay with the first one you meet. You should be able to choose whoever makes you feel the safest and the most at peace.

So, below, we’ll explore three main types of providers—OB-GYNs, midwives, and family practitioners—as well as the different care settings available. Remember, you can take your time with these choices and prioritize what feels best for you.

Provider Types

When I found out I was pregnant again, I had no idea what I wanted in a provider. I only knew I wanted something different from last time.

As I mentioned earlier, I got really lucky here. But I learned a whole lot about the different types of care as my pregnancy progressed and some changes needed to be made. So let's talk a bit about your options.

1. OB-GYNs

OB-GYNs are specialists in pregnancy and childbirth, often working in hospital settings. Their approach tends to be medically oriented, with an emphasis on monitoring and preventive care. For some parents, this medicalized setting provides reassurance and a sense of safety, especially if there are any concerns or complications.

However, for others, the clinical approach may feel impersonal or overwhelming. If you find comfort in structured care, an OB-GYN might feel like the right fit. If you’re leaning toward more personalized care, you may find other provider types more aligned with your needs.

2. Midwives

Midwives are trained healthcare providers who often approach pregnancy with a more holistic, hands-on model of care. Many midwives are experienced in supporting families through all types of pregnancies, including those following a loss, and may offer a more personal, empathetic approach.

Midwives work in a range of settings, including birthing centers, hospitals, or in your own home, and are often known for emphasizing emotional support alongside physical care. This can be particularly comforting if you’re looking for a more intimate experience.

3. Family Practitioners

Family practitioners are generalists, meaning they provide a range of healthcare services beyond pregnancy. While not specialists in obstetrics, some families find comfort in working with a practitioner who knows their broader health history. Family practitioners may offer a more personal approach but may lack specific perinatal expertise.

If you value continuity and prefer a provider you’ve seen before, a family practitioner may feel like a natural fit. However, if you’d like a specialized approach to prenatal care, you may feel more supported by an OB-GYN or midwife.

4. Adding Doula Care

Regardless of the type of provider you end up with, you can also add the support of a doula if it feels right for you (and is available to you financially).

Doulas are trained to offer emotional and physical support throughout pregnancy, birth, and even postpartum. They can bring comfort and continuity to your experience and can help advocate for your wishes when you are in a vulnerable state like labor.

For some, having a doula can enhance the level of care they feel from any provider.

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There are pros and cons to all of the provider options you have available. Try to find one that makes you feel the most safe and comfortable.

For more information about provider types and care settings, see WebMD's post about them:
Choosing a Health Care Provider for Your Pregnancy and Childbirth

Care Settings

The setting in which you choose to have your prenatal care and birth experience can also have a big impact on your peace of mind. They may also be a deciding factor in the type of provider you choose.

So let's go through your options:

1. Hospital

I find that hospitals or large medical groups are often the default for a lot of people who don't know they have other options. I didn't even know birthing centers existed until after my first pregnancy.

Now, that is not to say that hospital settings are a wrong choice. There are many very good reasons to choose hospital care for your pregnancy and birth experiences.

Hospitals are a common choice for those who value immediate access to medical resources. Many people find comfort in knowing that extra support is on hand if needed.

This can be especially true for anyone who has experienced complications before. Hospitals can be ideal for those who feel more secure with the full range of interventions available.

However, hospital settings can also sometimes feel less personal or overwhelming. If this is true for you, you might think about ways to make the setting feel more comfortable or bring in supportive people, like a doula, to provide emotional balance.

2. Birthing Center

I only learned about birthing centers shortly before becoming pregnant with my rainbow.

They are designed to offer a comfortable, home-like environment with medical support nearby. They often emphasize natural birth and may provide a more emotionally supportive setting for parents who prefer a more intimate approach to birth.

For some, birthing centers provide a balance between the familiarity of a smaller practice and the safety of medical care.

However, they may not be ideal if you prefer or require more intensive medical support. If you have questions about whether a birthing center is safe for you, your baby, and your particular medical concerns or requirements, the midwives at the birth center(s) you are considering will have the answers.

3. Home Birth

A planned home birth is an option that some find empowering. The familiarity of home can offer a sense of control and comfort that can make the experience feel more intimate and less clinical.

Typically, this approach involves a licensed midwife or healthcare professional who provides skilled support and monitoring, bringing necessary equipment and medications to help manage the birth safely.

Home births can be especially meaningful for those seeking a natural birth in a familiar environment, but they may not be suitable for everyone.

If you find comfort in having immediate access to hospital resources, a home birth might not feel right. It’s important to weigh your emotional needs, support system, and comfort with this approach to see if it aligns with your vision for birth.

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Each care setting comes with its own pros and cons. Does one stick out more than the others to you?

If one of them eases your anxiety a bit, start there. You have some time and you will be able to change your mind.

And if you could use some extra help easing anxiety and working through some of the many feels that come with rainbow pregnancy, check out my first-trimester journal available now:

Emotional Safety in Your Provider Relationship

Emotional safety is a cornerstone of a supportive provider relationship. If you do not feel safe and comfortable with your provider, it will be a struggle to find any safety or comfort in your pregnancy.

Especially after a loss, it’s essential to feel that your provider respects and understands your emotional needs. Consider whether your provider listens to your concerns, supports your choices, and offers empathy in their care approach.

Some providers naturally foster a sense of emotional safety, while others may not. If you feel uncertain, trust your instincts and prioritize finding a provider who helps you feel safe and supported.

You do not have to stick with the first provider you go to. It is ok to move on and meet other providers before you settle on one.

You deserve this safety. You will be trusting this provider to care for you during an incredibly sensitive season of your life. There is so much anxiety in Rainbow Pregnancy. Give yourself permission to find that sense of safety.

For a more in-depth guide to assessing compatibility, be sure to download my Provider Compatibility Guide.

And if you could use some support with emotional safety, I highly recommend mental health counseling. Check out my blog post all about it When to Seek Therapy During a Rainbow Pregnancy for resources.

Questions to Ask When Choosing a Provider

If you’re unsure where to begin, here are a few questions you can ask potential providers:

• “How do you approach care for those who have experienced previous pregnancy loss?”
• “What is your perspective on emotional support during pregnancy?”
• “How would you handle a situation where I might need additional reassurance?”

These questions can give you insight into a provider’s approach and whether it aligns with your needs. It is 100% okay to have providers interview for the position of your care provider.

Really good providers who have experience working with women who have previously experienced loss will answer these questions without you having to ask them.

Finding Peace in Your Choice

Choosing a healthcare provider for a rainbow pregnancy is an important decision, and it’s one that touches on both practical and emotional needs.

Whether you decide to return to a familiar provider or seek a fresh start, explore different provider types, or consider various care settings, each choice is about finding what feels most supportive for you.

As you weigh these options, remember that your comfort and emotional well-being are central to this journey. There is no single “right” path; each choice is valid if it aligns with your values and provides a sense of safety.

Give yourself permission to prioritize your needs, ask questions, and make adjustments along the way.

And as you move forward, keep in mind that building a connection with your provider—one that respects your personal experience and understands the complexities of a rainbow pregnancy—can be a deeply affirming part of this journey.

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If you're looking for tips and recommendations for other aspects of your rainbow pregnancy, check out my related blog post:
13 Top Tips for Navigating Your Rainbow Pregnancy.

And if you’d like a supportive community to lean on, I invite you to join our private Facebook group, where others on similar paths share their experiences and encouragement.

Before you go, I want to reiterate VERY CLEARLY that I am neither a Medical Health Care Provider nor a Mental Health Care Provider. Nothing I have written here should be taken as medical advice. PLEASE seek help from a professional if you have any questions or concerns about your pregnancy or your emotional state.